Monthly Archives: July 2014


Portland in the early morning is an entertaining place. The last time I was downtown this early a homeless man chucked a wine bottle at my head. Thankfully he missed but I felt the resulting shattered glass fly past my ear.

Today a man on a bike demanding at least 100 pennies in paper format escalated to verbal hostilities when I walked past him without saying a word. Informing me I am both small and made of fecal matter. I suspect this individual has bad vision or was in an altered state as even as a child I’ve never been called “little”.

Having no other observable data to go on it could have been they were both as upset as I was that the line for Voodoo Donuts snaked around the corner on both trips.

I normally enjoy my time in Portland. However, I think I’ll be avoiding 3rd and 5th in the early hours. I’m currently northbound on a train back to Seattle sans Maple Bacon Bar.